I love the ending scene in the first Thor movie. The bridge, the only way for Thor to get back to earth to see Jane Foster has been destroyed. Thor, being the good man that he is, has sacrificed his ability to stay with Jane for a cause that is even greater.
As he approaches the shattered edge he asks Heimdall, guardian of the Rainbow Bridge, “So earth lost to us?”
Heimdall answers, “No, there is always hope.”
“Can you see her?” Thor asks
“Yes,” he replies.
“How is she?” Thor questions
And Heimdall answers with the words that had me gulping back sobs in the movie theater, “She searches for you.”
This is like me and my husband, John, who passed away in 2012. He would only leave his family for a cause that is so transcendently important, I would only let him go for such a cause. Our faith in our Father’s eternal plan for all his children is such that we willingly give our wills, our lives to him and trust that at the end of mortality we will be together again.
I love the verses found in Songs of Solomon chapter 3:
“By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.
I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.
The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said, Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?
It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go.”
My husband is on the other side and wants so badly, like he always has, to be with his family. But in God’s infinite wisdom that ‘bridge’ has been taken from us. While John may be gone, he is not taken from us. Because of his love and mercy for us, God allows us ways to communicate, be together, and for John to let us know he is near. And he does. John uses so many unique and personal ways that reveal his personality to let me know he is here and loves me still.
Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see. – C.S. Lewis
My part? My part is searching. I show my love because I seek him. Searching for those things that refine me and allow me to have the Holy Ghost with me which precipitates and confirms those truths and communications. Searching for evidence of our love written across the stars and the simple and small things that surround me. And the beautiful thing about my searching is that I always find him! We get to continue our love and romance in sweet and tender ways. Our love story is my favorite!
Love does not just fall from the sky, perfect and intact. It has to be renewed, reaffirmed and remembered in every moment.
We continue working on and renewing our love for each other and our eternal marriage from both sides of the veil that separates earth and the spirit world. These little ‘postcards from heaven‘ keep me going. They renew my strength and quicken my heart. They reaffirm what I already know of the eternal nature of our lives and our love. Waiting is the hardest! But the little tender mercies that come from above make the waiting easier.
I hate waiting. But if waiting means being able to be with you, I’ll wait for as long as forever to be with you again.
In his talk Continue in Patience, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf explains,
“Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!”
Like Thor and Jane, John and I are in different ‘realms’ so to speak. We both have very specific and differing assignments from the Lord, but we are working towards and will ultimately both end up at the same destination. I know I am still here on this earth to learn and grow, to see if I will be faithful and do all that the Father asks. The separation we have to endure is part of that growth.
Elder Uchtdorf taught, “Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most.” Because “Patience is a godly attribute that can heal souls, unlock treasures of knowledge and understanding, and transform ordinary men and women into saints and angels.”
Yes! That is what I want. That is my goal. I can be active in pursuing the life and faith that John and I always have done. I can search for and find John in so many ways.
I’ve have always loved the song, There You Are by Martina McBride. But since John’s passing the beautiful words have such a deeper meaning to me now.
There you are in the quiet words I pray
I’ve been blessed by the simple happiness
Of the perfect love we’ve made
When I’m lost and when I’m found
Like an angel standing guard
There you are
Every time I take a breath
And when I forget to breathe
You’re watching over me
There you are
When I’m looking for the light
In the middle of the night
Searching for the brightest star
There you are
There you are the earth and I’m the moon
My desire is to stand by the fire
That burns inside of you
When…
Cindy Cloninger
Postcards from Heaven 
1 thought on “She Searches for You”